For people who have jumped in just by seeing the title... My kid is absolutely safe in my hands.. Please continue reading...
Few months back, I went to a private school to get admission for my kid in nursery. During my conversation with the school principal, she said this,
“Sir, we employ only lady teachers and in case for certain subjects which we find difficulty in getting a lady staff like ‘Kannada’, ‘PT’, ‘Sanskrit’ etc., we employ gents staff but we ensure that there will always be a presence of a lady teacher in that class”.
Hearing these, my wife got relaxed thinking my kid will be safe in school. But, something started bugging me from that moment. That bugging went on bothering me for the past 6 months which ended up in, me writing this blog.
When I learnt my Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics and Tamil from my well-versed and efficient male staff whose teachings I remember and cherish even now, why can’t my kid get her knowledge from a male staff?
This is in no way offense to any lady staff. Of course I had efficient lady staffs who taught me as well.
But, my worry is, what started people to think against men?
For the past few years our country have seen lot of people movement, with more intensive public participation, which in fact have made a large political uproar, thanks to the social media and the alarming reach of print and digital media. It may be the fight against corruption or may be the fight against sexual abuse for women, or may be the fight against sex slavery etc.
Now at present, I can see people from Indian media begging (portrayed as fighting) the international media not to portray India as an un-safe place for women.
Few days back I saw a post in Facebook, encouraging men to treat women with respect and take responsibility for her. Like, a colleague taking responsibility on a lady co-staff and going with her till the auto stand, and the auto driver taking responsibility on her and leaving her safe near her home and a neighbour taking responsibility on her and going with her till her home.
Also, I saw a post about warning people not to put theirs or their girl child’s photo in social website which will make them prone to a possible human trafficking.
And these posts went viral in social media bringing a perspective of raising awareness in everyone’s mind. But in a way it spread an absolute wrong perspective about Indian men.
Are we so bad?
Will my wife doubt me for handing over my 3 year old girl child alone for some time with me?
There is an absolute dearth of trust on men. From a society in which we worshiped women as Parvati, Lakshmi and Sarasvati, we are heading towards a society in which no woman believes on any men.
Sick!!!!
In all my life time, I have come across many men. My father, my uncles, my teachers and my co-workers, and I dint find anyone problematic to women in the way how men are portrayed now a days. They all respected their fellow women. So, what made the world to think otherwise?
Let me take your attention to one incident which I saw myself.
It was a rainy day and there was a huge traffic jam. I was wading through the road in my bike. As the vehicles were moving slowly, few people were trying to cross the road to go to the other end. I saw a young lady trying to cross the road concentrating on the vehicles. From opposite direction a guy came crossing the road and went near to the lady and tried to abuse her. This was happening during the peak hour of 6PM traffic in a public place very near to a bus stop. The lady pushed him away and managed to cross the road. Nevertheless she was terrified with that man’s action and gave a staring look to him. In a fraction of moment the guy disappeared in the crowd. This was my first incident of violence against women.
I was pondering on this incident. That man had so much of reflex, that in the few seconds of road crossing he wants to abuse a fellow citizen. Now, how can I send my wife outside to work! Will this incident not come to my mind all the time?
This is an example of a negative incident. Such incident happens all over India and through the social media and digital media the incident are coming to the lime light. Result: No one trusts anyone. Especially no men are considered to be trustable, no matter whether they are a relative or a friend or a teacher or anyone for god sake.
In one of our parliament session, respected MP of Kannauj madam Dimple Yadav spoke in Loksabha in a discussion under rule 193 on the need to have stringent legislation to check increasing atrocities against women and children in the country. This speech was posted in YouTube.
The most worrisome thing is the comments that came for that video. Instead of commenting on the problem that is been discussed, there were comments on the madam’s appearance and the speakers behaviour staring at her etc. What the hell!
We behave so genuinely to our mother, to our sister, to our kid and to our wife. When we go out, our behaviour differs with strangers. Why So!
More than in public, when we sit in front of internet our behaviour utterly changes. Why So!
This behavioural change is clearly evident in the comments and post made in the video discussed above in this blog.
I would like to point to the below two facts based on various reports,
- Pornography websites stands in 43rd position in terms of most used websites in India.
- Men are more prone for committing crimes when they are in the influence of alcohol than when they are normal.
Let’s assume that our government blocks all the pornographic sites. Are we going to say that it’s our right to decide what to watch and what not to watch in internet and blocking pornography is against net neutrality? I want at least one guy to say this and show his face.
If men under the influence of alcohol are committing crimes more, then, who is the actual culprit? The one who drinks it! Or the one who gives license and allows it to be sold!
There are few miscreants in the society who we should and can deal with law. But there are wonderful people all around us, why losing the trust on them.
When I ask this to my wife, she had her answer ready,
“If you are not an upper middle or high class women, then you will get abused at least once from your 12 to 35 years of age. Which miscreants you are saying to deal with law? The guy who simply puts his hand on us in public? The guy who disturbs us from the rear seat of bus, train, theatre? The guy who stands beside us in the crowded places? I have always thought, all guys would be sex maniac when it comes to strangers. Don’t those guys have mom, sisters and wife? They do! But all that matters is whether they care or not for it.”
That was a serious concern! So it’s not the perspective of women that has to change. But the behavior of guys! Do we respect our opposite gender?
Isn’t this an important aspect which we have to keep our children aware of? Isn’t this a certain responsibility of a parent? Our current generation is sick! Don’t we have the responsibility of curing it?
I want my mother to trust me!
I want my wife to trust me!
I want my sister to trust me!
I want my co-worker to trust me!
I want my fellow citizen to trust me!
If my little girl grows up and have a kid for her, she should trust me and give her kid to me and say “papa please take care of her, we are going out”
Will this become a bigger ask? Am afraid!
